


Habits Of My Heart

by lolabuckleys



Series: Pulling Me Under [2]
Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F, Miranda POV, sex to love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-18 17:18:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16521341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolabuckleys/pseuds/lolabuckleys
Summary: Miranda tells how she fell in love with Andrea*Based on the song "Habits of My Heart" By Jaymes Young





	Habits Of My Heart

ii.

  _“Andréa”_ I call her as tip of my tongue escalated through my mouth and descends by colliding with my front teeth, just like a calm wave who crashes violently against a rock. Her name always felt like a melody in my lips, even in the beginning our working relationship.I've always felt that names shouldn't be diminished to nicknames, because it loses the identity that it helds. _Andréa_ comes from the greek which means strong or mainly, now makes me laugh thinking in contrast with how delicate Andréa is. The point is how can a name so beautiful be reduced to such simple syllables, it didn’t made her justice.

 The very first night and time we fucked, I hate describing like this, but it was luxury that took over our bodies it wasn’t love or passion, so hence the description. We were at a tacky motel at downtown Manhattan, I didn’t want to go to her place and I most certainly didn’t want do this in the townhouse, not near the girls anyway. I used the girls as an excuse to not take her to my home, but the truth is didn't wanted to be remind in the next morning, i didn't want to have her sweet scent in my white silk bed sheets. I remember vaguely of how the events lead us to there, i just remember feeling like never before. In that awful motel room where we both stand naked and bared, she still pledged allegiance to me. I felt like a sacred image and every corner of my body was worthy of devotion. I echoed my desire moved by the adrenaline that took over me. Something kept screaming in my mind would i be able to do the same for her? 

  I tried not to think about it when i got home, tried not remember her head between my legs, tried not remember the way she looked after the orgasm, tried not remember how she glowed in the neon yellow street lights that invaded our room. Even in the shower as i washed her scent off me i wanted to keep her near me, like cemented in my skin didn't want to let it flee to the drain. So I understood everything and a small voice screamed in the back of my mind "i want her to be mine only mine." I dreamed about her, i woke up later that night asking if what happened early on was real or just the imagination tooked me there.  I felt needy and mortal, afraid that I was gonna let slip it out of my hands. Betrayed by own thoughts as I wasn’t be able to controlled it. How could a person have that effect on me ? Most of my past relationships didn’t worked out and now I’ve realize why. Those poor men whom tried to changed me, to make home out of my heart, my cold heart, that cut them off just like a sharpen glass. Everything came full circle in my conscience. 

The following day I tried to avoided her, it was hard. Because my work is related to her, everything I decided to do has to go through her, she must assist me. During a break between lunch I heard Nigel asking her why I was acting so weird, apparently she mumbled that didn’t have a clue. I gave a side smile, thinking about this dirty little secret that only our minds could take pleasure in it, i became conscious of that simple gesture and wiped off immediately. Later in the day, she came in to my office and I took notes of what she was wearing. High waisted black pants, probably an Yves Saint Laurent from the wardrobe of Runway, the white blouse which shaped her beautiful upper body, her brown hair was high in a french bun and her delicate features looked fresh and young. 

Later in the night when I was finishing my call with Patrick, she sneaked in to my office, everyone had gone home except her and I. I pretended to not see her sitting in my couch, she tooked her high heels off and as I ended the call her big brown eyes stared at me, I got up and walked towards her. I held her face and kissed her gently. I wondered how long in that day i wanted to do this. Tears poured out of her eyes, she hugged me and said that didn't know how we would be able to do this, I said not to worry, to be fair i didn't know either. Our age differences, our working relantionship, my girls. My god the girls, how would i tell them about Andrea? She's not the father figure that i tried to put into their lives. I left a sigh that i was holding, i held her face in my hands, she seems so juvenile and it ocurr to me that maybe what i was doing was wrong, it feels that i was taking an advantage of her youth. I will never gonna be capable to give her a proper love, family or life itself. 

 I wondered how could she be in love for such a cold hearted bitch. She laughed at me with sincerity, gave me a kiss and said that love we can't explain, same as with art, we're supposed to feel something and not to describe it. She reached her purse and gave me an envelope, it was her resignation. "If we don't do this, i won't be competent enough to work for you." With that, she left the room i called her but nothing came, i stood there with the silence that resided around me, i felt out of words yet again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, just a reminder that all the chapters are based in songs.  
> I'll try to update this still this week.


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